I hate cancer!!

My friend from my weekly support group is now in hospice care. She is 42. She did everything right. She is simply amazing. Her husband & 2 daughters are so devoted. There is sooo much love there. I can't stop crying. Crying for them & for me too. I hate cancer & what it does to people. I ask every day why did this happen to me? Have I been spared/cured? If so, why? How long do I have? What should I be doing? Why does the body turn on you? Why? Why? Why? It's just a matter of days now. She is in a lot of pain right now. That her pain will be over is a small, very small,  comfort.
Is it selfish that I am so thankful it is not me on hospice? I hope though that whenever it is my time, that I carry myself with the grace & courage she has. But I don't want to face that for decades upon decades. Decades.
Sorry. I'm a bit of a mess. Alone in the dark, a mess. My heart is so heavy for them; and then my own emotions for me come crashing like waves on a beach before a hurricane.
Sigh, exhale.

5,000+!

In a little over one year, the Minivan Philosopher has grown from 1,000 views to now over 5,000. Gratitude to my amazing readers who humble me with your interest in my life & my musings. According to my blog's statistics, I have readers from Russia, Turkey, the Middle East, Europe, the UK, Australia, Malaysia, and from coast to coast to coast in the US.

I have so many different ideas & thoughts percolating in my brain that I am excited to get them posted for you here. I'm feeling better physically & emotionally every day so writing is taking less of a toll on me. It's nice to be able to feel the keys again when I'm typing. So hang in there dear readers, bear with me, more is on the way!

However, thank you again for reading. I am glad you do.

Cheers!
-the Philosopher