I was introduced to the book True Love: A Practice for Awakening the Heart by Thich Nhat Hanh on the website www.brainpickings.org
(In fact, I have been introduced to quite a lot via that website. If you are interested in expanding your intellectual capacity I highly recommend giving her a visit.)
Anyway, my interest was piqued reading her essay about this book and I rushed to the public library website and promptly reserved me a copy. I have renewed it twice already. It's a short book, 104 pages. Written very simply but worth reading and re-reading. I think I will end up just buying my own copy. I can only renew it one more time before I have to return it. I wanted to share with you my readers an extremely brief synopsis of the four aspects of love as described in the book. For a much more in depth and beautifully written essay, go to brainpickings and read hers.
Here is my summary...
According to Buddhism, there are four aspects of true love:
1) Maitri meaning loving-kindness or benevolence. It's the desire AND the ability to bring joy and happiness to the person you love. "Because even if your intention is to love this person, your love might make him or her suffer."
2) Karuna meaning compassion. This is the desire AND the ability to ease the pain of another person.
To bring joy and compassion you must practice "deep-looking" or searching for understanding of your love. Because when you know and understand his or her aspirations and his or her sufferings, you can bring joy and ease pain. How often do we actually practice "deep-looking" with the people we love (including our family and friends)?
3) Mudita meaning joy. "If there is no joy in love, it is not true love. If you are suffering all the time, if you cry all the time, and if you make the person you love cry, this is not really love -- it is even the opposite. If there is no joy in your love, you can be sure it is not true love."
and
4) Upeksha meaning equanimity or freedom. "In true love, you attain freedom. When you love, you bring freedom to the person you love. If the opposite is true, it is not true love. You must love in such a way that the person you love feels free, not only outside but also inside. 'Dear one, do you have enough space in your heart and all around you?' This is an intelligent question for testing out whether your love is something real."
Hanh goes on to say that to love in the context of buddhism is to be there. To bring your true presence to your loved one, not only your body but your mind too. He suggests this mantra to say to help you stay truly present, "Dear one, I am really here for you."
I had several ah-ha moments while reading True Love. And each time I re-read a passage or paragraph or dwell on a definition, I gain more insight into what was preventing earlier relationships from being true love. I am definitely more at peace in my current relationship with 007 than earlier ones (especially Mike and my fox). I am practicing deep-looking and being present. I am learning what it feels like to love according to Buddha. It is different, scary at times but there is no suffering like before. I like that. I will continue practicing true love and awakening my heart to it.
Thanks for stopping by and I hope you have true love already. If not, may you find each other and enjoy it for the rest of your days.
"Dear one, I am here for you."
~The Philosopher
