So long, farewell!

I have believed, and have been proven correct in my belief time and time again,  that most men end up eliminating themselves from consideration or inclusion in my life all by their lonesomes. Some do it in a more spectacularly disastrous manner than others. The last one takes the cake. #hiddenracist, #stupidracistcommentcostmemygirlfriend, and #secretlyrelievedhesgone. Still processing what I'm gonna say to him the next time I have the chance.

I have NO room in my life or soul for hidden or out in the open bigots.

Goodbye.

Don't
Call.

Midnight Playground: Where the Soul Plays is at the publishers!!!

Last week I sent my publishing team the manuscript.  It is now in the content review and editorial assessment stage.  Holy Cow!!!

As soon as I hit the "send" button, I felt like throwing up.  My stomach was tied in a million knots and my arm pits started sweating.  This is my physical reaction when I'm excited and scared and nervous all at the same time.  I was thankful I had already booked a 4:30 yoga class as I needed it desperately to calm my insides and quiet my mind.  I was so happy to be doing side planks even though the are not my most favorite pose.  However, my mind had to stay focused on the plank at hand which was a relief from the constant chatter of my meandering mind.

As I left the studio after class, I felt much calmer and more in control.  I felt again aligned with the universe and what is supposed to happen in my life.  It was a huge step sending off the manuscript.  I feel good.  I know I have a LOT of work ahead of me to promote Midnight Playground: Where the Soul Plays and to get people interested in reading it.  I also feel deep down in my gut that it is going to be a LOT of fun!

In the week since I have tackled some home improvement projects and made progress on my to-do list.  You know, things that piled up (including my laundry) while I was focused on the book.  It feels good to reclaim all of my spaces (emotional, physical, internal and external).  And I'm ready to start finishing my other two books (Purg-a-Tory and 4199)... Life is good. :-)

My new reality is around the corner

Yeah! I did it. Finished the book. Been revising and editing for what seems like ages now. I've had three rounds of beta-readers and have absorbed all they suggested. Only one person didn't like it; but she still had valid comments. Now I'm finalizing the artwork, prepping the website, filling out paperwork, drawing up intellectual property contracts and generally feeling giddy about the future. It's really happening. My intention to live my life as a published author is only a few months away. It's going to be so much fun.

In between book stuff, I've been looking for a car for my Rockstar, working at my suddenly politically sensitive and busy "real job", managing to stay sane during club soccer season, doing lots of yoga (one year in so far and my body has really changed and it's no longer in constant pain -big smiles here!!), dieting and down 40 pounds since August...working on last 20. Love my life.

In the midst of all my wonderful happiness though are reminders that life is short and so unfair. I've lost two friends in the last six weeks to different medical issues: heart attack and colon cancer (yikes that's close to home!). Both men left behind kids and families that dearly loved them and a community that misses them tremendously. Both were musicians and when I heard of David Bowie's death today, I visualized them all making heavenly music together and it made me happy.

Love fully, love richly, love now
~the Philosopher

50,000 words!!!

I have done it.  I have crossed the 50,000 word threshold for my upcoming book, Midnight Playground.  I am writing daily and am getting close to having it finished.  I am so excited and nervous all at the same time. I really feel like this book will be my "gateway book" (insert smiley face emoticon here) so that I can write full time and finish the Transporter series and Purgatory and write whatever else comes to mind.  But for right now, at this very moment, I am so excited that I crossed that milestone of 50,000 words.  Onward!

I am Titanium...

Rockstar is having his ACL reconstructed as I write this post.  I am sitting in the hospital waiting room sending positive thoughts and energy his way.  He was so sweet to me while in the holding room and under the effects of the first batch of "happy drugs".  He was holding my hand and telling me how glad he was that I was there with him, that he felt better and more calm because it was me standing there next to him and not his dad or his best friend.  That made my heart swell.  I know he was under the influence and probably won't remember it but at least I know that deep in his heart he really does love his mom.

He is facing six months of recovery and rehab.  It is going to be an interesting time for the whole family but I feel we will make it.  We survived my six months of chemo; we will get through this too.

I feel blessed that we have great doctors and great technology and that he is young and healthy.