Yesterday while reading the men seeking women ads on Craigslist (you know we all read those from time to time for entertainment and to remind ourselves that our lives aren't so bad after all...) I saw this headline and knew it was an instant classic...
Hand job, you host.
I chuckle even as I type it now.
How about putting in the comments section some of the funny headlines you have seen on Craigslist? We can all use a little humor (or humour) in our lives.
Cheers!
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
Friday, May 24, 2013
Two random unconnected thoughts
1) Completely bummed that Ethan Hawke & Julie Delpy's third installment in the Before Sunrise, Before Sunset trilogy, BEFORE MIDNIGHT, is not playing anywhere in this town... but we've got plenty of screens dedicated to IronMan 3 and The Hangover 3. I loved the first two movies and have read the reviews on the third... I may have to drive to Chicago to see it! As I was reading the info, reviews etc... on Before Midnight (I was going to shorten it to BM but then I just started to laugh like a pubescent boy)... and I was recalling the first two movies, I couldn't help but see similarities in the love story between Ethan and Julie's characters and my love story with my Fox.
2) I couldn't believe my eyes last night at the Rockstar's 8th grade promotion ceremony when I saw a woman (must have been someone's mother or aunt or sister or godmother or neighbor, regardless of her connection though she got one of her student's coveted four tickets, therefore she was an invited guest) walking quickly down the aisle to get pictures of her student as he/she received his/her promotion certificate wearing a sweatsuit (matching sweatshirt and sweatpants) that displayed prominently on the front of the sweatshirt (with matching logo/words on the legs of the sweatpants too) across this woman's prominent chest these words complete with related artwork "Keep One Rolled". Yes, dear readers, this adult influencer was actively promoting getting high and advocating for one to always have a joint rolled and ready to go. Now, I'm not against adults smoking pot but I am against an adult wearing a sweatsuit outfit promoting it at a SCHOOL ceremony for 13 & 14 year olds. Really inappropriate. Very poor taste. Not funny. I'm betting that if this is the environment and the adults this student is around on a constant basis, that 8th grade promotion ceremony may be the apex of that child's educational career. However, I hope the student rises above his/her 'home life' and decides that it's better to have a drawerful of diplomas from educational success than "keeping one rolled."
Those are my two unconnected thoughts for today, readers. I'm sure as life goes on, there will be more.
2) I couldn't believe my eyes last night at the Rockstar's 8th grade promotion ceremony when I saw a woman (must have been someone's mother or aunt or sister or godmother or neighbor, regardless of her connection though she got one of her student's coveted four tickets, therefore she was an invited guest) walking quickly down the aisle to get pictures of her student as he/she received his/her promotion certificate wearing a sweatsuit (matching sweatshirt and sweatpants) that displayed prominently on the front of the sweatshirt (with matching logo/words on the legs of the sweatpants too) across this woman's prominent chest these words complete with related artwork "Keep One Rolled". Yes, dear readers, this adult influencer was actively promoting getting high and advocating for one to always have a joint rolled and ready to go. Now, I'm not against adults smoking pot but I am against an adult wearing a sweatsuit outfit promoting it at a SCHOOL ceremony for 13 & 14 year olds. Really inappropriate. Very poor taste. Not funny. I'm betting that if this is the environment and the adults this student is around on a constant basis, that 8th grade promotion ceremony may be the apex of that child's educational career. However, I hope the student rises above his/her 'home life' and decides that it's better to have a drawerful of diplomas from educational success than "keeping one rolled."
Those are my two unconnected thoughts for today, readers. I'm sure as life goes on, there will be more.
Tuesday, May 21, 2013
Moore (Oklahoma) Thoughts
Well I thought the next post I wrote was going to be about the graduation weekend and all the emotions surrounding my daughter's matriculation from high school. But yesterday, a tornado ripped through the town of Moore, Oklahoma and killed (as of right now) 24 people including 9 children.
Makes my idea of writing about caps and gowns, pizza, frozen yogurt, hair cuts, tears and laughter feel a little bit shallow. Oh I will write about the weekend but not right now.
Instead, I am counting my blessings that one of my very best friends (for over 24 years) moved from Moore to Norman last summer, because her old house no longer exists and her children would have been at the elementary school which was leveled in the tornado. Instead, I am watching the video from the aftermath and listening to the children talk about how their teacher shielded them with her own body. And tears stream down my face because I know that those teachers didn't think twice about it. It's just what you do. It's instinct.
Instead of writing about being frustrated that my boys' bedrooms are horrific messes, I now view it as an opportunity to give to others... those families have lost everything and we have so much, we can give and give and still have plenty. Instead of harping on them to pick up their rooms, I've put a box in both and said "fill it with items - toys, clothing, stuffed animals - for the victims in Moore"... I need to get more boxes.
Watching the videos and seeing the pictures reminds me of when Joplin was leveled last year and when Katrina decimated New Orleans and the Gulf Coast. And in each of those horrific events, my friends and family all survived. I, indeed, have so much!
So dear readers, I will get back to blogging about the funny things in my life and sharing more of my life philosophy in due time. But for now, I am counting my blessings and filling boxes as I know you are too....
Makes my idea of writing about caps and gowns, pizza, frozen yogurt, hair cuts, tears and laughter feel a little bit shallow. Oh I will write about the weekend but not right now.
Instead, I am counting my blessings that one of my very best friends (for over 24 years) moved from Moore to Norman last summer, because her old house no longer exists and her children would have been at the elementary school which was leveled in the tornado. Instead, I am watching the video from the aftermath and listening to the children talk about how their teacher shielded them with her own body. And tears stream down my face because I know that those teachers didn't think twice about it. It's just what you do. It's instinct.
Instead of writing about being frustrated that my boys' bedrooms are horrific messes, I now view it as an opportunity to give to others... those families have lost everything and we have so much, we can give and give and still have plenty. Instead of harping on them to pick up their rooms, I've put a box in both and said "fill it with items - toys, clothing, stuffed animals - for the victims in Moore"... I need to get more boxes.
Watching the videos and seeing the pictures reminds me of when Joplin was leveled last year and when Katrina decimated New Orleans and the Gulf Coast. And in each of those horrific events, my friends and family all survived. I, indeed, have so much!
So dear readers, I will get back to blogging about the funny things in my life and sharing more of my life philosophy in due time. But for now, I am counting my blessings and filling boxes as I know you are too....
Wednesday, May 8, 2013
Dating Advice
So my youngest, the Sage, queried me about my dating plans since my relationship with my Fox has been stilled. We were standing in the kitchen and the conversation went like this:
The Sage, making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich as a typical 9 year old boy does when he comes inside from playing 1-on-1 basketball against his stronger, faster, and more competitive older brother says, "So, Mom if the Fox doesn't come back in your life, which I hope he does don't get me wrong, what are you going to do?"
I, shrugging my shoulders and putting my purse and other work bags down on the kitchen table while reviewing the day's mail, reply, "I don't know. Something, I guess."
"You should try match.com." He says with an encouraging nod while pointing the peanut butter knife towards me for emphasis.
Looking up at him and hoping the peanut butter does not fall off the knife to the two eagerly waiting and hopeful canines replied, "I'm not going to try internet dating again. It's too much work and effort."
"Really? Too much work? You know, Mom, every Thursday night you put your make up on and get dressed to go out. How much more work is match.com?" he answered back.
I just laughed at him and exited the kitchen.
Such a sweet son thinking of my future and offering his suggestions on how I could meet someone sans my Fox in my life. And I love his equating my putting on make up to go out on Thursday nights to be just as hard work as internet dating. We all know that putting make up on is WAY MORE difficult than internet dating!
Seriously though, I have tried the internet dating thing before and it requires more effort than I wish to put forth in finding a partner, right now. I have met some neat men with whom I have remained friends and I have had some interesting, funny encounters too. But it is a lot of work and until I wish to put forth that effort, I won't put up a dating profile. No need to mislead or frustrate those who ARE putting in that effort.
Instead I will just have to see what the Universe brings to me. She brought me Mike and she brought me my Fox. I like her taste in men. I will wait. And do the "hard work" of putting my make up on every Thursday to go out.
The Sage, making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich as a typical 9 year old boy does when he comes inside from playing 1-on-1 basketball against his stronger, faster, and more competitive older brother says, "So, Mom if the Fox doesn't come back in your life, which I hope he does don't get me wrong, what are you going to do?"
I, shrugging my shoulders and putting my purse and other work bags down on the kitchen table while reviewing the day's mail, reply, "I don't know. Something, I guess."
"You should try match.com." He says with an encouraging nod while pointing the peanut butter knife towards me for emphasis.
Looking up at him and hoping the peanut butter does not fall off the knife to the two eagerly waiting and hopeful canines replied, "I'm not going to try internet dating again. It's too much work and effort."
"Really? Too much work? You know, Mom, every Thursday night you put your make up on and get dressed to go out. How much more work is match.com?" he answered back.
I just laughed at him and exited the kitchen.
Such a sweet son thinking of my future and offering his suggestions on how I could meet someone sans my Fox in my life. And I love his equating my putting on make up to go out on Thursday nights to be just as hard work as internet dating. We all know that putting make up on is WAY MORE difficult than internet dating!
Seriously though, I have tried the internet dating thing before and it requires more effort than I wish to put forth in finding a partner, right now. I have met some neat men with whom I have remained friends and I have had some interesting, funny encounters too. But it is a lot of work and until I wish to put forth that effort, I won't put up a dating profile. No need to mislead or frustrate those who ARE putting in that effort.
Instead I will just have to see what the Universe brings to me. She brought me Mike and she brought me my Fox. I like her taste in men. I will wait. And do the "hard work" of putting my make up on every Thursday to go out.
Monday, May 6, 2013
My time in Opposite World
So I, the Philosopher, recently celebrated my birthday.
Remember when you were school age and you and your friends would declare "today is opposite day!" and everything was opposite. So, for example, instead of telling your friends that you liked them, you said you hated them but everyone understood it was all okay because it was opposite day.
Well my birthday was its own opposite day.
44, 4 & 4. How old I am. If I could put the two fours back to back that is exactly how I felt during this birthday.
Example 1)
Day started out sunny and beautiful with me driving in the convertible with the top down and the wind blowing through my hair. Smiling. I knew the weather was predicted to be rainy and cold later so I was enjoying the spring weather while it lasted. And the forecasters were right, it quickly progressed to a gray, raining, and cold day. Top was going to be staying up for several days.
Example 2)
I received birthday wishes from friends near and far including a sweet birthday wish from my Fox that made me smile deep down inside my heart. But I received nothing from my children.
Example 3)
I received a letter in the mail from the high school that my son is supposed to attend in the fall and has been dreaming of attending for over three years now that they will be offering no financial aid to us. "Ugh!" I thought, more appeal letters to write. At least I've gotten good experience writing those letters during the college hunt for my daughter.
After reading the letter though, my daughter called to say she has gotten a job for the summer! Great news there!
Example 4)
Planned birthday celebrations were also total opposites. First one was intended to be karaoke and drinks with several of my best girlfriends. And although Karaoke guy didn't work that night, my best girlfriends & I still had a great time. The mix of personalities couldn't have been more perfect. The conversation was clever, witty, sincere and the drinks were too.
Second planned birthday celebration was to be at one of my favorite local bars where the drinks are amazing and the bands fun to dance to and the people watching fantastic. It is where I met my Fox so this bar has a very special place in my heart. And I had planned to dance tango with my dance partner too. Well the only thing that was consistent was the tango and the drinks. First, a man who has been stalking me since Thanksgiving showed up and completely inserted himself awkwardly and annoyingly into the mix. It was not a good combination of personalities. The conversations were stilted and awkward and were full of passive aggressive undertones that I escaped to dance tango as much as possible. And my escape to dance tango was the perfect excuse for my girlfriend whom I was supposed to be celebrating with to leave me. Yep, alone. On my birthday. And to blame me for being selfish for dancing tango. However she was not pretending it was opposite day; she was being sincere in her accusations. I told her to drive home safely; because at 44, I don't engage in high school behavior.
However even with all the weird yin & yang, Libran-like (keeping things balanced - not all bad and not all great) experiences, I'm still grateful and thankful to be alive and surrounded by terrific people. This is a new week. New experiences to enjoy, new lessons to learn and more tangos to dance and I'm definitely okay with that.
Remember when you were school age and you and your friends would declare "today is opposite day!" and everything was opposite. So, for example, instead of telling your friends that you liked them, you said you hated them but everyone understood it was all okay because it was opposite day.
Well my birthday was its own opposite day.
44, 4 & 4. How old I am. If I could put the two fours back to back that is exactly how I felt during this birthday.
Example 1)
Day started out sunny and beautiful with me driving in the convertible with the top down and the wind blowing through my hair. Smiling. I knew the weather was predicted to be rainy and cold later so I was enjoying the spring weather while it lasted. And the forecasters were right, it quickly progressed to a gray, raining, and cold day. Top was going to be staying up for several days.
Example 2)
I received birthday wishes from friends near and far including a sweet birthday wish from my Fox that made me smile deep down inside my heart. But I received nothing from my children.
Example 3)
I received a letter in the mail from the high school that my son is supposed to attend in the fall and has been dreaming of attending for over three years now that they will be offering no financial aid to us. "Ugh!" I thought, more appeal letters to write. At least I've gotten good experience writing those letters during the college hunt for my daughter.
After reading the letter though, my daughter called to say she has gotten a job for the summer! Great news there!
Example 4)
Planned birthday celebrations were also total opposites. First one was intended to be karaoke and drinks with several of my best girlfriends. And although Karaoke guy didn't work that night, my best girlfriends & I still had a great time. The mix of personalities couldn't have been more perfect. The conversation was clever, witty, sincere and the drinks were too.
Second planned birthday celebration was to be at one of my favorite local bars where the drinks are amazing and the bands fun to dance to and the people watching fantastic. It is where I met my Fox so this bar has a very special place in my heart. And I had planned to dance tango with my dance partner too. Well the only thing that was consistent was the tango and the drinks. First, a man who has been stalking me since Thanksgiving showed up and completely inserted himself awkwardly and annoyingly into the mix. It was not a good combination of personalities. The conversations were stilted and awkward and were full of passive aggressive undertones that I escaped to dance tango as much as possible. And my escape to dance tango was the perfect excuse for my girlfriend whom I was supposed to be celebrating with to leave me. Yep, alone. On my birthday. And to blame me for being selfish for dancing tango. However she was not pretending it was opposite day; she was being sincere in her accusations. I told her to drive home safely; because at 44, I don't engage in high school behavior.
However even with all the weird yin & yang, Libran-like (keeping things balanced - not all bad and not all great) experiences, I'm still grateful and thankful to be alive and surrounded by terrific people. This is a new week. New experiences to enjoy, new lessons to learn and more tangos to dance and I'm definitely okay with that.
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