Not sure I want the tooth fairy to come this time.

He is so excited about his loose tooth. He rushes over to me so I can feel it move back and forth. I smile for him but my heart aches as I touch that little tooth and wobble it to and fro. He is my baby. This little loose tooth has rocked my soul beyond what I could have ever thought. In fact, I never even gave it a thought. He is growing every day; he is learning to read; he is riding a bike. These milestones came and went like rare spring weather in the middle of winter; I enjoyed them but knew we'd be right back to winter the next day. But you don't go back to winter after losing your tooth. You get a whole mouth full of permanent teeth and you no longer reach out to grab my hand as we walk together in the store or across the parking lot. We no longer sing silly songs at the top of our lungs or play for hours with balloons we brought home from the restaurant. You no longer draw me a picture showing me how much you love me. I no longer pick you up and toss you in the air.

I don't know if I expected my baby to not grow up. Or maybe I thought we'd have more time before he began to 'cross-over'. All I know is we can't go back now that there is a loose tooth. It's a matter of days now, the clock is ticking loudly. But maybe, just maybe, I can strike a deal with the tooth fairy so she doesn't come take him away. I'm just not ready.