I can't promise you anything

This is a phrase that the Philosopher  and her girlfriends have heard a number of times during their dating experiences.  As you may have guessed, it is a phrase that men seem to use on a regular basis.  The women may use it but it is so rare that when we utter those words we are often in shock that they even came out of our mouths!

But what does it mean?  Why do men feel compelled to say it?  Does it absolve them from taking responsibilty for any heartache or pain that may come down the line in the relationship?  Do they feel it removes our right to be upset with them because we should remember that he "didn't promise you anything"?  Does it allow them to walk away without any guilt or remorse because they "didn't promise anything"?

I find it funny and immediately telling when those words are uttered because I can't remember a time when I said to a man "well I will only go out with you on this date if you promise that you will love me forever and take care of me and my children and give me great orgasms daily and worship and adore me till you die." 

So, exactly, what promises are they prematurely red-lining when they make that statement?

The only things I want promised are that he will show up as he said he would, be interesting to talk to and make me laugh.  Any relationship that we are supposed to have will naturally progress from there.  And the relationship is going to last as long as it is supposed to, promises or not. 

People have a tendency to eliminate themselves from relationship consideration all by their lonesomes.  Putting out the disclaimer that they can't promise anything doesn't absolve them from those behaviors that eliminate them. 

It seems a cowardly statement to the Philosopher.  It's like auditing a class in college.  A person may want to learn about this subject but he doesn't want to be tested on it for a grade or do any of the work the professor requires to pass the class.  And we all know that relationships have inherent tests and require a lot of work.  So when a man says he can't promise me anything, I know he has no intention of doing the necessary hard work and simply wants the 'benefits'. 

So he's right, he can't promise me anything and in return he gets nothing.

Next.