Example 1:
Last week I received a cave painting (text) from a guy I had been seeing whose PTSD flared up and pretty much brought to a screeching halt any forward momentum we had been experiencing. I told him he needed to resume counseling and get on some medication to bring a balance to his life. That he deserved to live a life that was more settled and that his children deserved that too. I told him to call me when he felt he was "balanced." He agreed with me and started back immediately with his doctors and therapists at the VA. Occasionally I would message him and ask how he was doing. Sometimes he would reply and other times, not. But in his last cave painting after telling me what an awesome person I am and how glad he was to have met me (blah blah blah you get the gist), he said he needed to focus on himself and wasn't in any shape ready for a relationship and didn't want to make a promise to me he couldn't support (blah blah blah we've all heard this before) but then he closed his text with this... are you ready for the kicker... and R (his ex-wife) "has been absolutely amazing during this debacle, I might be getting back with my family"!
I laughed when I read the last part. This was a first for me. I had never sent a man BACK to his ex-wife before. Oh well I thought, he came into my life at exactly the right time. We had had some great fun before the PTSD episode. He got my car fixed, tires balanced and detailed. He helped me through two chemo weekends and got me my snow boots! I am really grateful for all that (especially the car stuff and snow boots) and accept that that was to be the extent of our 'relationship'. He is a kind, good man who just has issues bigger than I want/need in my life. I wish him well in his quest to get balanced and, of course, good luck with the whole ex-wife not being the ex-wife anymore thing.
Example 2:
So I've been exchanging a few emails with a guy on the internet dating site. I haven't scheduled a "meet n greet" with him yet. We have similar likes and dislikes; he seems friendly enough. But there's not this yearning inside me to hurry up and meet him in person. However, this past weekend I was out with my girlfriend at our usual watering hole. We were listening to the band, enjoying the people watching, & avoiding talking to the annoying man next to me who seemed to spray me with his spit every time he tried to talk to me and also reeked of weed. He did have a friend show up who was nice and friendly and mature and loved to dance and was married! I saw the ring when we were dancing and I immediately backed him off and left the dance floor as soon as the song was over. He tried to get me to dance with him a few more times and I just said no each time and looked at his wedding ring. He got the hint. But anyway that doesn't have anything to do with internet guy. Back to that story.
On the dance floor I saw this guy who looked vaguely familiar. I kept racking my brain, how did I know him, how did I know him? He seemed goofy and had this grin that went on for days! He came up to my girlfriend and I after I had sent the married man away and was trying to chat us up. He never introduced himself or asked our names; it was all really awkward. And I wasn't interested at all, in the least.
So the next day I was reading my dating site email and when I opened up Internet guy's profile, I did a double take... that was the smiling till the world ends dancing goofy guy from the night before. Oh no, I thought to myself. Ugh.
He emailed this morning asking how I am, how my weekend was, did I do anything fun. I replied that I had spent time with girlfriends. He asked where I went. I haven't replied. I think he'll figure it out. I think he already knows that I was "the internet girl" at the bar.
So far, the internet dating site has brought me four dates with men who are really gay but just haven't admitted it yet and one near miss. So glad I didn't plan a meet n greet with Internet guy.
Anyway, there's two examples of the dating "fun" I've been having. One thing is certain, there'll be more.
Cheers!
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